Introducing The Moderator

Welcome to the first installment of The Moderator. The Moderator is a good friend of mine interested in helping out with the blog. He is going to provide actual interviews in a fictional format. He doesn't know these people and have never spoken to them. It's all part of his imagination. He will be interviewing members of the financial community, politics, sports, and some of the pop culture scene on current events. Enjoy!

Moderator: Thank you so much for the intro, as short and unclassy as it may be. I am The Moderator and I am highly qualified to complete these interviews. I have taken journalism courses online. Today, for our inaugural guest, we have former Fed boss Alan Greenspan. Mr. Greenspan it is a pleasure to have you here.

Greenspan: Yes, thank you very much. I'm glad to be here.

Moderator: Great let's get started. Mr. Greenspan what can you tell me about.........

Greenspan: I see a one in three chance of recession.

Moderator: Okay, but that wasn't what I was going to ask you.

Greenspan: Charlie did the stock market sell off? See what kind of power I still have. The markets love me.

Moderator: Right, the stock market isn't doing anything. Nobody reads this blog. But what I was going to ask you is about the rumor circulating recently that you stated you would have cut the Federal Funds rate by now. How do you respond to that?

Greenspan: Totally unfounded. Not true whatsoever.

Moderator: I don't believe you. Your wrinkles are twitching. I believe you said it. It would be a classic case of the "Greenspan put".

Greenspan: I now see a one in four chance of recession!

Moderator: (15 second pause as he stares at Alan in disbelief) Sure you do professor. Any reason why you see a change in the economic outlook of the country within the last 45 seconds?

Greenspan: Yes................................................No.

Moderator: Are you going to respond to the.................

Greenspan: Charlie, what are the markets doing now? Going up? You bet your bottom dollar! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Bennie Boy!

Moderator: Jealous much?

Greenspan: I like fractions. They seem smarter than percentages.

Moderator: ......................

Moderator: Alan, would you or would you not have already cut the Federal Funds rate by now if you were still Fed chief?

Greenspan: Ribbit,

Moderator: Did you just croak like a frog at me?

Greenspan: I don't like you. You have a skinny head.

Moderator: Well, unfortunately, this is going nowhere fast. Thank you for being my guest this week Alan. Look for me next Monday with Chystler's new CEO Robert Nardelli. See you next time!